I haven’t written anything in months. During this period of shifting and changing it has been a challenge to put into words the transformation that’s taking place. I know, I can hardly believe it myself. At different times in my life I’ve welcomed this type of silence and at other times silence wasn’t my friend. The best way I can describe it, though it may be a bit clique is to compare this transformation to one of a butterfly. God has been stripping me of the old thoughts and past destructive behaviors that I was still clinging to for dear life.
I wasn’t clinging to them because I was afraid to let go. I was clinging because I had become comfortable with the low level of dysfunction I was operating in. It had become a part of who I was. I had become accustomed to doing things to survive, and not allowing myself to get to a place of thriving. I found myself constantly complaining about God not taking me to the next level but, I wasn’t willing to do all the necessary work that it would take to achieve that goal.
He went on, “No one cuts up a fine silk scarf to patch old work clothes; you want fabrics that match. And you don’t put your wine in cracked bottles.” Matthew 9:16-17
In the silence, I’ve been slowly finding my voice and re-defining who I am according to who God says that I am. Now for everyone that could mean and be something different. No two people are the same. For some, the process may be quick and easy. For others, it can be quite painful and disruptive. Of course in true Tashauna fashion, my process has been the latter. And in my silence, I realized why the pain and disruption are needed.
The painful part is needed so that we will remember it and will not want to subject ourselves to that kind of feeling again. While the disruption is there to get our attention. It’s these two things that will motivate you to seek God and find out what needs to be done to overcome this process.
The path of spiritual and personal growth never ends and the shifts will come at times when you least expect them. We have to learn to welcome the change because it’s getting us ready for the next level of elevation. If I could use one word to describe this shift… it would be Freedom. Freedom in using my voice, freedom in knowing who I am and who’s I am. What would yours be?