I’m not really an emotional person but, these last few weeks have been kind of rough for me. After today my first-born is headed to high school and I’m a nervous wreck. Last night he came to me and said, “Mom, after tomorrow I won’t be your little boy anymore.” I instantly got choked up…
It took years for me to realize that God never turned his back on me throughout my ordeal, but was in fact there with me all along. It was him who nudged me and gave me that little burst of strength (I passed out and was blocking the door) to move my body so that the firemen and EMS could reach in and drag me off the bathroom floor. It was God, who whispered in my mom’s ear as I was being rushed back to the operating room that I would live and not die.
Yes, I’ve been broken by life and suffered through some not so good times. I’ll be the first to admit that this faith walk that I’m on hasn’t been easy. Nor have I always gone in the direction where I was lead to go. And the growing pains of being stretched during this walk aren’t always comfortable or painless. Sometimes, it down right hurts. But, if Jesus suffered through all of that for our sins, sins he didn’t even commit, if he went through all of that so we would be healed, who am I to complain about things I’m experiencing. He suffered through all of that pain and didn’t say a word.
For years I harbored anger, bitterness and resentment for my circumstances, but through praying and fasting God gave me a revelation. My pain wasn’t in vain and my journey was made harder by my reaction to the situation. Instead of glorying in the fact that I was still here, still present on this earth I became upset and complained that I had to endure this walk alone.
Through an almost tragic situation, God turned things around and showed that he’s still a miracle worker. It humbles me every time I think about how fragile life really is.
The other night after a little encouragement from one of my biggest cheerleaders ( my daughter), I did my very first live video post (vlog) on periscope. What was supposed to be a quick background introduction on how Knocked Down – But Not Out came about, quickly turned into much more. What God is doing in this…
It’s a year to the day that you left us. I knew it was coming, we all did. In your moments of clarity you spoke constantly about wanting to go home and be with your mother and see your brothers. During your last days you had become frustrated and agitated that Jesus hadn’t come to take you home yet. We knew, we felt the shift of the seasons, but it still hurt none the less.